Scared, Not in Danger: Regulating After a Trauma Trigger

Something happened that brought me back to a place I’ve fought hard to leave behind. An intense, unexpected altercation in my kitchen triggered a full-blown trauma response. It wasn’t about the words or the volume—it was the feeling. The sudden shift in energy, the raised voice, the fast movement up to two inches from my face, the way my body instinctively braced itself as if something worse was coming. That’s how trauma works. It doesn’t ask for permission. It floods the system and demands attention.

But this morning, instead of spiraling, I chose to show up for myself. I went to my meetings. I opened the windows. I cleaned—not because my space was dirty, but because I needed to release the tension, the energy, the fear. I needed to make the air lighter again.

And then I did something brave: I left the house. I took Nicky to the dog park. It’s warm and sunny today, and for a few hours, I’m letting nature remind me that I’m okay. That I’m here. That I’m safe.

I’m still shaking. My heart is still racing. My BP went up over 180. I’ve used anxiety medication that I havent touched in months, to help me through, and I’m not ashamed of that. I’m also using something just as important: the truth.

I may be scared, but I am not in danger.

I say it to myself like a prayer. Because it’s true.

Healing doesn’t mean triggers disappear. It means I respond differently when they come. It means I can feel the fear and still stay grounded. Still make good choices. Still take care of myself.

That’s what I’m doing today. And if you’re reading this and relating, I want you to know—your fear is valid. And so is your healing.