Learning to Forgive Myself

Today stirred up some ghosts for me. Seeing my ex’s parents (who I genuinely do love dearly and cherish that relationship), unfortunately pulled me right back into memories I wish I could leave behind. And one memory keeps replaying in my mind—his voice, the way he would say it:

“Dana, I am REALLY trying to accept you for you… and all of you.”

He said it all the time, his tone, his expression were pained… like loving me was a burden. Like I was something to tolerate instead of cherish.

For too long, I let someone make me feel like I was too much, like I had to apologize for existing. I bent, I shrank, I walked on eggshells trying to be small enough, quiet enough, easy enough. And the worst part? I let myself believe that was love.

But here’s the truth I’m holding onto today: I deserve to be loved fully, freely, without conditions or pain.

And part of healing is forgiving myself. Not for being “too much”—because I never was—but for allowing someone to make me feel unworthy. For not knowing then what I know now.

I can’t change the past. But I can promise myself this: I will never, ever let anyone treat me that way again.

With love,

Dana & Nicky.