Too much pain to be brave.

I’m not writing this to inspire anyone. I’m writing this because I’m in unbearable pain and I need the world to know what that means.

I have atypical trigeminal neuralgia—it’s a rare, incurable nerve disorder often called “the suicide disease.” Today, it feels like a power drill is boring through my ear and exploding every tooth in my skull. The pain is constant. There’s no break. No relief. No mercy.

It’s 10:30 in the morning and I’ve already taken three Vicodin. I take them every four hours just to survive. Just to not scream. Just to be able to sit still without clawing at my face. And I’m still in agony.

I just reserved another rental car for Monday for emergency nerve block injections.

People don’t understand chronic pain like this. They think “invisible illness” means you’re exaggerating, or that you’re still functioning so it must not be that bad. But the truth is—I am barely functioning. I am building a business while surviving something that should have broken me years ago.

There’s no cure. There’s barely research. There’s no understanding unless you’ve lived it.

So today, this post is the awareness.

Not a finished painting.

Not a poetic blog.

Just the truth:

I am in so much pain that I can barely breathe.

And I’m still here.

This is what chronic pain looks like.

This is what survival looks like.

And this is why we create Dove Recovery Art—because this story deserves to be seen.